Jake Gyllenhaal Sits Courtside With Jay Z And Beyonce At Nets-Heat Game

Here’s a quick story: a couple of years ago I took my girlfriend out for her birthday, and we ended up sharing a wraparound booth and neighboring table with Jake Gyllenhaal.

He wore a pulled down ball cap, was rehearsing lines for the movie “Prisoners” and hardly ever looked up from the script. However, at one point my girlfriend excused herself to the bathroom, at which point Gyllenhaal broke from his concentration and checked out her ass. It made her birthday.

What does this have to do with anything?

Sub out my girlfriend and me for Beyonce and Jay Z. Then switch The Optimist in Atlanta and a birthday evening for the Barclays Center in Brooklyn and the NBA playoffs, and it’s almost the same story. AKA, this is probably the closest thing Jay and I have in common.

Even though ABC completely ignored him when listing celebrities in attendance, Homeless Jake (as the Twitterverse has taken to calling him) seemed to be enjoying the game.