BREAKING: Maryland Announces Blackout Night Game 7 Months In Advance

THIS JUST IN. BREAKING. HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS. THE MARYLAND TERRAPINS HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE TO THE WORLD.

In a play out of CNN’s book (i.e. CNN’s news on Titanic), Maryland issued some really breaking news on Tuesday.

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT.