The Cincinnati Bengals made a splash on Monday by signing Andy Dalton to a six-year, $115 million contract. Considering he has taken the Bengals to the playoffs in each of his first three seasons, and that the franchise hadn’t made the postseason in consecutive years since 1981-82, the deal seems like a good one on the surface. But then there’s the little matter of Dalton’s playoff performances: 54.4 QB rating and 1-6 TD/Int ratio.
In a happy world where people cheered other’s accomplishments, we’d all give the Red Rifle a digital pat on the back and move along our merry way. But this is big time sports. This is Twitter. This is The Jungle. There’s no time for niceties, only hot takes.
The Twitterverse went in on Cincinnati’s new million-dollar man, and the reactions were a perfect blend of snark and loathing. Here are some of the best.
The #Bengals have just shown why they are the bengals signing the Andy Dalton to a 6 yr 115 million dollar contract… Help Joey Votto!
— Jaime (@Treestand_tweet) August 4, 2014
REPORT: If Andy Dalton commits 3 turnovers in 2nd half of a playoff game again, new contract becomes a free turkey coupon at Food Lion.
— Michael Tanier (@MikeTanier) August 4, 2014
“Bengals are finalizing 6-year deal with QB Andy Dalton. Pays him more than Kaepernick” Can’t say I understand this one.
— Drew McDuffie (@DrewMcDuffie) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton is now worth $115 million and I have the same number of Playoff wins. Confused @Bengals fan.
— Ryan Detrick, CMT (@RyanDetrick) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton is laughing all the way to the bank rn…he just robbed the Bengals blind lmfao
— Sam Schneider (@Sam_J_Schneider) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton got the Kap contract? Paul Allen has to include an escalator that renames Mercer Island “Wilson Island”
— Adriana (@strictlyCALI) August 4, 2014
Take, maybe hot: Andy Dalton getting more guaranteed money than Colin Kaepernick is a huge blow to tattoo parlors across North America.
— alex (@steven_lebron) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton got paid pic.twitter.com/mHR9sLGlQq
— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) August 4, 2014
In light of Andy Dalton’s new contract, President Obama is raising the federal minimum wage…to $37.50/hr.
— Eddie in Boise (@eddieinboise) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton best back up fantasy QB there is.
— John Gresko (@johnnygreskoo) August 4, 2014
Andy Dalton is the only QB in the league who looks the same with his helmet off as he does with it on, which has to be worth something
— Lord Anthrax Hayes (@AnthraxJones) August 4, 2014
After Andy Dalton’s extension, Russell Wilson and Andrew Luck are now projected to make Oprah money.
— Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) August 4, 2014