News broke on Friday afternoon that Dustin Johnson had been suspended from the PGA Tour for cocaine use. In the burst dam of information, word also came that Johnson had illicit relations with at least two fellow golfers’ wives (ruining at least one marriage). In short, what it looks like is that the PGA has a regular old party animal on its hands.
Not one to let a salacious drug and sexcapade fly without first having a little fun, Twitter latched on for some good ol’ fashioned end-of-the-week snark. Here are some of the best reactions from the Twitterverse (complete with the requisite Paulina Gretzky photos).
Dustin Johnson’s happy place: pic.twitter.com/yETwLXwK87
— Wheeling Problems (@wheelingprobs) August 1, 2014
Ok whose wife did Dustin Johnson bang? And yes it was obviously a threesome with Paulina supplied the coke. — David Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) August 1, 2014
— Andy O’Rourke (@AndyORourke1) August 1, 2014
Sooooo…..apparently Dustin Johnson is the golf version of Boogie Nights.
— Wicked1 (@Robb131313) August 1, 2014
There’s an obvious joke about Dustin Johnson, TaylorMade/adidas and 3 white lines, I just need help setting it up… pic.twitter.com/NR8yFWmFEn
— Joe Lederer (@joelederer) August 1, 2014
— Brett Macaluso (@brmac19) August 1, 2014
Seems like Dustin Johnson enjoyed skiing more than he liked playing golf. — Chris Lang (@ChrisLangLNA) August 1, 2014
— Craig Sager II (@CraigSagerJr) August 1, 2014
Professional golfer Dustin Johnson is suspended again for cocaine use… I bet he didn’t have a problem meeting the pace of play rule
— Clark Kent ✈ (@kentgraber) August 1, 2014
Browns should cut Dustin Johnson so he can get his life together — Fake Al Davis (@VeryFakeAlDavis) August 1, 2014
— Harrison (@HarriDavidson) August 1, 2014
— Terez Owens (@TerezOwens) August 1, 2014
Bobby Petrino just offered Dustin Johnson a scholarship. — Not Jerry Tipton (@NotJerryTipton) August 1, 2014
Dustin Johnson’s happy place must be terrifying.
— Billy Howell (@CoachBilly1) August 1, 2014