I was off the grid for the past week and completely missed the (latest) lunacy to spring forth from the well of hot air known as “First Take.” Word around the water cooler is that it was some pretty deep stuff - Stephen A. Smith sticking his foot in his mouth (again), Michelle Beadle calling out the nonsense, and ESPN finding a way to spin archaic views on domestic abuse into ratings. I’m kind of sad to have missed the kerfuffle.
Anyway, on Monday ESPN promoted – and then aired – Smith’s apology (because, really, what’s the point of making a nonsensical statement if you can’t churn some views).
You’ve been waiting to hear from me. Now you will in approx 30 minutes. @ESPN_FirstTake coming at ya at 10am. No one’s hiding!
— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) July 28, 2014
The vocational fallout is minimal: Smith will not be suspended (it’s not like he called somebody a “cornball brother” or anything), which means he can keep eating his cheese doodles and cashing checks. Twitter wasn’t as kind as the ESPN brass, however, and tossed out some predictably snarky comments. Here’s a roundup.
Stephen A Smith not getting suspended means he has to keep spending time with Skip Bayless, so that seems like fair punishment. — Chris Becker (@crsbecker) July 28, 2014
Hold up, @stephenasmith out here tryin to say his momma is a better mother than my momma, or my wife?
— Dan O’Connor (@TheBopper) July 28, 2014
stay tune for 11 am sportsenter where Jaws will analyze if Stephen A Smith has all the tools to be the best apologyst of all time
— PFTCommenter (@PFTCommenter) July 28, 2014
Shorter Stephen A. Smith: I don’t know what I’m yelling about pic.twitter.com/3GSFiziEgO
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 28, 2014
BREAKING: Stephen A. Smith has trademarked “Rice Beaters” and is set to start selling these hot items soon for $60.00 according to Sources — Renee Star (@Renee_Starz) July 28, 2014
I went in with a low bar on Stephen A Smith’s apology and still managed to be disappointed
— IT’S DA POLEECE (@itsdapoleece) July 28, 2014