Welcome to Part V of a six-part series in which we will touch on tips and tricks to hopefully help you evaluate the 2013 fantasy football season.
Don’t do it, don’t you take these players
When I was in high school, an old, drunk man on a long flight explained his version of the law of averages to me. If you only ever go for tens, you’ll only ever land tens. If you settle for fives, you’ll usually end up with fives. This is a list of fives. Don’t settle for fives. Don’t get cute. Stop trying to be the smartest kid in class. Don’t miss the forest for the trees while looking for the diamond in the rough. (That, kids, is what they call “mixing metaphors.”)
Lamar Miller - Two words: Daniel Thomas. Remember him? Miller is getting the job and the bulk of the workload but it’s still the Dolphins’ offense, which is terrible.
David Wilson - He is going way too high in drafts. Tom Coughlin wants to run the ball; he just isn’t doing it these days. It’s Eli’s show and Giants’ running backs just don’t get the carries to warrant an RB2 spot. The Andre Brown injury makes this a tougher call though because, these days, just getting the bulk of the workload for a decent offense is hard to ignore.
Vernon Davis - Kaepernick didn’t throw to him last year and they won. Why would he make it a point to find him this year? He’s no different than any other middle-tier tight end.
Ryan Tannehill - Again, it’s the Dolphins’ offense. I cannot figure out why this guy is everyone’s quarterback sleeper. Mike Wallace isn’t going to help his value. Ryan Tannehill is going to tank Mike Wallace’s value.
Stevan Ridley - I’m pretty sure Bill Belichick gets his jollies from trolling fantasy football players. Ridley is definitely the most talented back they have but he’s going way too high in drafts this year. If he’s the top ranked running back by the time your first pick rolls around, do yourself a favor and take a quarterback.
Montee Ball - He doesn’t feel like a Peyton Manning running back. Obviously his college numbers were great, but think about the line he ran behind. I could have run for 1000 yards behind those hogs.
Eric Decker - Wondering who loses touches with Wes Welker in town? Eric Decker, that’s who.
Kenbrell Thompkins - It was one game. One preseason game. Take a late round flier if you must/ are a Patriots fan, otherwise, pump the brakes.
Defenses Before the 8th Round - There used to be a gentlemen’s agreement that Defenses and Kickers weren’t drafted until the last few rounds. I watched someone draft the Seahawks in the 6th round this year. Stop it. You know who you are.
2013 FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT GUIDE KIT
Part I: Past results vs. future production
Part II: That ex-girlfriend you just keep going back to
Part III: Last Call, Sleepers and Drafting the Late Rounds
Part IV: Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention
Part V: Don’t do it, don’t you take these players
Part VI: I really hope my league doesn’t see this list