Florida Gators Can’t Find A Way To Sell Student Tickets

What do the Florida Gators have to do to sell their student tickets? Coming off a 4-8 campaign is rough, but this is the University of Florida: home to the winningest FBS football program since 1990.

There are over 32,000 undergraduates and 17,000 postgraduates. The total student ticket allotment is 21,500. Seriously, what does UF have to do to sell tickets for a whopping $105 per season package? (Cue the “win more than four games” talk).

I remember a time when I contracted literally every phone in both my dorm building and back home to get tickets.

<pauses, takes a deep breath, pauses typing, steps away from computer for a minute>

Apparently every promotional idea the Gators have tossed out this year has fallen short, according to GatorBait.net.

Florida has continued trying to sell its remaining tickets with various marketing promotions such as the chance to run onto the field with the team in the opener against Idaho, the chance to be an honorary Mr. Two Bits for the second game against Eastern Michigan and a “Rally in the Swamp,” on Aug. 24, where students can “join student athletes, meet Albert & Alberta and members of the spirit squads, win prizes, learn Florida traditions” and receive free pizza.

Maybe offer up Tim Tebow’s virginity? Sheesh.

In all kinds of weather, folks. Dammit.

I’m not saying I’m angry, but I’m not not angry.

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