Apparently there is some serious black magic swirling around Cristiano Ronaldo and his lingering leg injury. According to the Daily Mail, a Ghanan witch doctor named Nana Kwaku (translation: Devil of Wednesday) has been working Portugal’s captain over for four months now, ensuring that Ronaldo will miss the World Cup.
‘I am very serious about it. Last week, I went around looking for four dogs and I got them to be used in manufacturing a special spirit called Kahwiri Kapam.
‘I said it four months ago that I will work on Cristiano Ronaldo seriously and rule him out of the World up [sic] or at least prevent him from playing against Ghana and the best thing I can do is to keep him out though injury.
‘This injury can never be cured by any medic, they can never see what is causing the injury because it is spiritual. Today, it is his knee, tomorrow it is his thigh, next day it is something else.’
So there you have it, folks. If you’re a fan of The Navigators, thank this dude for the uncertainty heading into Brazil. And everyone else: if you see Kwaku walking down the street, you might want to pull a Mark Cuban.
Witch Doctor Selfie