Jared Lorenzen – aka The Hefty Lefty, Pillsbury Throwboy, Round Mound of Touchdown, whatever you call him – is (still) a big ass dude playing quarterback. Tipping the scales at around 320 bills, he’s slinging the pigskin for the Northern Kentucky River Monsters indoor football team.
Once the Internet caught wind of Lorenzen’s new gig, fans and media reacted in typically viral fashion. So, in our unrelenting effort to bring Gamedayrs the maximum amount of snark on the web, here are the best Twitter reactions from fans and media.
@Ryan_K_Davis I am buying you a Jared Lorenzen River Monsters jersey…you and Victoria can use it as a comforter.
— Jordan Johnson (@JORDAN_TAL) February 4, 2014
Somewhere the Browns front office is scrambling for Jared Lorenzen’s number. — The SEC Logo (@SEC_Logo) February 4, 2014
Oh no… RT @RumfordJohnny: Jared Lorenzen’s pocket awareness> Gabbert
— Cap Tivating (@BoldCityCap) February 4, 2014
When asked how he still has such a fast release, Jared Lorenzen says he imagines he is holding something that disgusts him. Like a salad.
— James Coker (@JamesWCoker) February 4, 2014
If you have watched the Jared Lorenzen highlights & wondered about the arena, that is indeed a football field placed on top of a horse arena
— Brandon Sparks (@OlySportsBlog) February 4, 2014
Jared lorenzen still has it…everything lol
— Kevin Shanley (@kshanley13) February 4, 2014
Alex smith will always have my heart, but I think I would have a fling with Jared Lorenzen. — Sweaty (@sweatingmullets) February 4, 2014
Jared Lorenzen is getting all this love for being a 320-pound quarterback, and deservingly so (he has as many rings as Peyton). — Sheldon Minor (@SheldonMinor) February 4, 2014
I must have watched the Jared Lorenzen scramble play 1,500 times already. Hypnotic, and I can’t get enough of it.
— Bart Hubbuch (@HubbuchNYP) February 4, 2014
— Ryan Dunsmore (@d_more55) February 4, 2014
It seems like once a year, the internet collectively makes fun of how fat Jared Lorenzen is — Dudley Lee (@StudleyLee) February 4, 2014
— Steve Mayernick (@EhStayBan) February 4, 2014