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Home | Sports | NFL |

Kellen Winslow Jr. may have been masturbating when arrested


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Cred: Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Getting arrested for synthetic marijuana is embarrassing enough (that stuff is rat poison), but Kellen Winslow Jr. probably wishes that’s the only detail released from his recent brush with the law. It turns out that he may have been masturbating in his vehicle when police were called.

The following excerpt from the police report comes from The Star-Ledger:

As she exited her vehicle, she commented to the male regarding how cold it was. As she stood near the open driver side window of the Escalade, she observed the males [sic] erect penis. She stated that she believed he was masturbating. [The woman] provided a written statement regarding her account.

One minute you’re talking about the weather, and the next thing you know a stiff breeze comes along and the trouser snake is out on the prowl. It’s a tale as old as time.

[RELATED: Best reactions to Winslow's masturbation tale]

Police recovered five bags of “Mr. Happy,” eight empty vials of “Funky Monkey,” and one empty bag of “K2 XXX” – all synthetic marijuanas. They also found two open containers of Vaseline in the vehicle. That’s a bunch of fake weed, and a hell of a lot of lube for one guy. That’s a a f***ing soldier, right there.

**UPDATE**

Kellen Winslow’s camp has denied the rumors.

MEMES: Kellen Winslow masturbates his way into the Internet’s heart

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