Dear ESPN, since you let Mark May on the airwaves, I’m pretty sure that you will hire anyone. Your ace football analyst just told me that Rich Rodriguez “finds ways to win, whether it be at West Virginia, Michigan …” Boy howdy, he sure did find a way to win those 15 games at UM (he also found a way to lose 22 games).
If you’re looking for unique angles like May’s, I’ve got a ton. Check this one out: Nick Saban just finds ways to lose. Whether it’s LSU or Alabama, he’ll get you at least one loss in a season (just ignore 2009).
I’ve got plenty more where that came from. If you need another analyst to throw crap against the wall and see what sticks, you know where to reach me.