Midweek Mailbag: Tim Tebow, Mr. Two Bits, and Under-the-Radar Tailgates

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How’s it hanging Gamedayr Nation? [Insert inappropriate joke here] Time for another Midweek Mailbag. I’ve been up for 21 straight hours, so things might get a little punchy. As always you can send any love mail, hate mail, questions, comments, or whatever is on your mind to mailbag@gamedayr.com. The weirder the better. No question will go unanswered; you have my Gamedayr Guarantee. Let’s see what was in this week’s inbox.

Q: You F****** suck. Quit your job. –Bob in Micanopy

A: No?

Q: You should be ashamed of yourself for tearing down such a great young man. Tim Tebow is not just a role model for his generation, he’s one for all ages. Get out of your parents’ basement and stop slandering Timmy’s good name. –Erika in Ft. Walton Beach

A: I see where this is going. For the record, I don’t live with my parents. I don’t have a basement. And the word you’re looking for is libel, not slander—though I’ve done neither.

Q: How can you call Tim Tebow entitled? Not only was your article offensive, it was completely off base. Tebow works harder in one day than you will in your entire life. Who do you think is a good role model? The reformed addicts and murderers that ESPN hires? Stop trolling for readers and trying to make your name off the back of a good Christian like Tim. This site is better than that. –Aaron in Bonita Springs

A: My editors offered to put 20 more letters like this in, but I’m gonna pump the breaks. My mom reads this column and she may start worrying.

I’ve caught a lot of flack over the Tebow column, and much of it was to be expected. My intent was not to write an article questioning Tebow’s work ethic or merits. Everyone knows he works hard. Hell, there’s even a speech tacked to wall of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium confirming as much.

The point was to juxtapose Tebow to his generation. He comes from a generation with interesting red flags. Tebow has hit the first real bit of adversity in his adult life: unemployment. This makes him similar to many non-athlete/celebrities his age. Given his early successes, Tebow has the luxury to stand bullheadedly and only accept the one position he truly wants in life (NFL QB). Others from his generation do not have this luxury, yet take the same stance.

When thinking of Tebow as a role model, his charity and manners are second to none. For the religious contingent, there can be no better steward. However, nobody is flawless. My intent with this article was to inspect the message Tebow sends through his unwillingness to compromise. There may be unintended consequences, as he projects willed ignorance over seizing every opportunity to climb the ladder.

It’s assuredly an unpopular opinion amongst Gator Nation, but food for thought. I’ll remember to wear my cap down low next time I come into town.

Q: Can we just name Tim Tebow permanent Mr. Two Bits? –Jake in Gainesville

A: Best. Idea. Ever. Thanks for lightening the mood, Jake.

Q: Marry, Boff, Kill: Lane Kiffin, Mack Brown, Will Muschamp? –Derek in Houston

A: Hmm … Well you can’t marry Lane Kiffin. He’ll leave after your first fight. Or he’ll leave for somebody more attractive. Or if you divorce him, he’ll sue the pants off you. Right, Al Davis?

I say marry Mack Brown, because he’s harmless. Seems like a nice provider with that UT contract, and will stick around through good and bad. He knows how to weather the storms of a rocky relationship.

Kill Lane Kiffin for all the reasons listed above. There’s just no trust.

Boff Will Muschamp. His nickname’s Coach Boom. He’s fiery. Okay, I’ve put too much thought into this. Next question!

Q: Outside of college football games, what’s the best sporting event to tailgate/party at? –Deb in Florence

A: Great question. I say the Rolex 24 Hours at Daytona. Really, any NASCAR event is wild on the infield. But there’s something about the 24 Hours Race. People flood into the center of the track when gates open, and they construct some of the craziest architecture, seemingly, in minutes. Seriously, it’s like redneck Burning Man. I’m talking 12-foot scaffoldings made of PVC and Plywood. Hydraulic lifts run by truck batteries. You may see a dude in a motorized La-Z-Boy, or somebody getting sprayed with a fire hose. It’s the Wild West. Bandits run around at night stealing beer from the coolers of passed out campers. There’s really nothing like it. It’s an interesting way to spend one of your 365 days in a year.

To be fair, I’ve still never been to the Kentucky Derby. Let’s revisit this question after I tick that one off. To be continued …

Q: We’ve heard all about the Saban/Sumlin and McCarron/Manziel matchups. But what do you think will be the X-factor in Saturday’s game? –Steve in Slidell

A: Either Carl’s Jr. or this dude (nsfw). Either way, Bama’s got the edge.

That’s a wrap, folks. Have a great week and remember to send us some feedback at mailbag@gamedayr.com. Enjoy the games this weekend.