College Station, TX – Johnny Manziel showed up for his Sunday hearing wearing sunglasses, a snapback Houston Oilers hat, and a shirt reading “U Mad, Bro?”.
One NCAA official, who wished to stay anonymous, commented on how the “interrogation” went.
“At first I thought he was a big douche; he didn’t even take his sunglasses off inside.”
Apparently Manziel was in midseason form, ending every sentence with “Gig ‘em” and passing a flask around the room.
“After a couple nips of ‘shine, I realized he’s really just a cool bro. He wanted us to call him Football, Johnny F, or Daddy-o.”
The five-hour meeting was followed by a one-hour autograph session, where interviewers could also pose with the Heisman Trophy. Before riding away in his C-Class Manziel shouted for everyone to come by his pad for Lone Stars and Jager Bombs.
Investigators all agreed that his rims were, in fact, “pretty sweet.”
An announcement on the NCAA’s official findings will be released on Wednesday. From the sounds of it, however, a bunch of individuals received the only thing they were looking for: A hangout session with Mr. Football.