NFL player quit the league after being caught masturbating by teammates

I promise, I’m not jacking you around: a player reportedly quit the NFL because his teammates caught him masturbating in the film room. The news comes from Jay Glazer, and he’s no jerk off the streets.

GQ wrestled with the bald champ and got him to dish on the awkward incident.

“They have, like, a computer room where the guys can go study film. And somebody caught him. Pants right down, going to town. And I guess he caught wind that they were gonna make fun of him, and [snaps his fingers] gone. He quit football. Never went back. Man up, man! It’s not like nobody else does it!”

Hard to imagine somebody applying the handbrake to his career over something so silly, right? I mean he was just adjusting the antenna in the film room, building a little upper body strength. The NFL doesn’t just hand jobs out; this feels like an overreaction.

It’s really a shame that he’ll never discover his true potential. Now the poor guy is probably out there in the world feeding ducks, making soup, or squeezing the juice in some second-rate gig. If he would’ve taken matters into his own hands and pulled rank, dude could sill be beating the dummy on the practice field.

Glazer didn’t crown the king and give away his identity, so all we really know is that it wasn’t Kellen Winslow Jr.

[Low five to Larry Brown Sports]