Photo: South Carolina introduces new ‘crystal’ helmet

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Photo: TigersBite/TigerNet

Photo: TigersBite/TigerNet

In honor of Virginia Tech’s all-new “Hokie Stone” helmets, set to be worm against Georgia Tech on Thursday night, one Clemson fan has given us a fantastic new South Carolina lid created with the same idea in mind.

Just like the Hokies’ helmet has been inspired by the limestone that has been used to build most of the buildings on campus, so too have the Gamecocks used a rock design for their lids. Well, technically, crystal:

COLUMBIA – The Universty of South Carolina’s football team will soon wear new helmets featuring the school’s signature stone, crystal meth.

Head coach Steve Spurrier announced ““When you look at this helmet, it’s not flashy, but it means a tremendous amount to this University. The outside world may have to do a double-take, but the Cocky Nation will know exactly what it is: Crystal Methamphetamine! And it’s something we’re proud of. The reason I like it, is because it represents what this program and this University are built on. Each piece, in its place, serving its purpose, doing its job, and when it’s all working together, it’s rock solid and it’s something special. That Cocky Stone … represents what we’re all about!”

Spurrier went on to say that a special team training session was called to acclimate the player to the new look. “We had to tell them, ‘Look, this s***t isn’t real, so don’t be trying to sell it, or hold a torch to it, or scrape pieces of it off.'”. Despite the warnings, the school has ordered an additional 87 replacement helmets, just in case.

Now that right there is funny, I don’t care who you are.