Tim Tebow vs. Merril Hoge: We have nothing better to do debate

Tebow v Hoge: The “We have nothing better to do debates.”

Once again, Tim Tebow dominates the national headlines without having to actually play. This isn’t his fault. Rex Ryan, like the fat selfish kid who doesn’t want to play with his new Xmas toy but doesn’t want anyone else to either, has refused to give the popular QB a chance in an effort to frustrate everyone.

Rex is the obese brat we all want to hit in the face with a tennis racket but don’t because there are stupid laws that say we can’t, or we’ll get a fine. So without actual, meaningful playing time, the airways have been inundated with speculation on everything Tim Tebow; hypotheses, theories, assumptions, and conjectures have run rampant.

Remember that old saying, “everyone is entitled to their opinion.”? Well, it’s not true. Some people have opinions so misguided they’re borderline insane and not worthy of entertaining for more than a millisecond. There are people that believe the Holocaust was a hoax, vaccinations cause autism, and the Westboro Baptist Church has a reason to exist. These opinions are not only stupid but detrimental to society as a whole since they are based entirely on blind hate. Enter Merrill Hoge’s “analysis” of Tim Tebow.

[Tebow for Hire: Possible Jobs for Tim Tebow’s Future]

Recently, Hoge went on a self absorbed rant trying to justify his hatred of Tebow with unnamed sources that don’t exist, calling him, “as phony as a three dollar bill”, and claiming that the Jets didn’t realize how bad he was until he arrived at camp.  The problem I have with Merrill’s live outburst goes beyond his clearly biased hatred and lack of journalistic integrity. I, also hate things for no reason. But I never attempt to justify them via made up references. For example, I can’t just claim random things like, Merrill Hoge is the largest distributor of hardcore pornography worldwide–That would be unfair to actual vendors of porn. Or that Hoge was excommunicated from Scientology for being too creepy. You would probably need more than an unnamed source to verify this. And you would most definitely need more than that claim that Hoge was once a member of NAMBLA. My editors wouldn’t let me print ridiculous things like that without first fact checking. After all, they are magnanimous, benevolent people that donate billions of dollars to baby helper monkeys so that they can bring disabled people more beer (monkeys mixing liquor drinks is still a few years off).

The problem doesn’t lie solely with Hoge (motto: I hated Tebow before it was cool). I really don’t care if you hate/dislike something or someone for no reason as long as you don’t try to justify it with make believe reasons. Here’s an example: Azziz Ansari. You know what I really, randomly hate? The University of Southern Cal. You know why? Neither do I. But I don’t claim they hired Lane Kiffin to spite me, or cheat more than Alabama does, or told OJ to do it. I hate them respectfully and with reserve.

So if people that don’t like Tebow would stop trying to justify that prejudice with asinine arguments like, “don’t you think Elway knows a good quarterback,” or “they see him in practice all the time and they know best.” Well then I could go back to not trying to murder my brain with alcohol. First off, here is a nice article dealing with the senseless Tebow attacks: Tebow. Hoge’s outburst says far more about him than Tebow. But, for a couple of the more popular arguments that have gained traction despite having no conceivable merit with people that have ever had a logical thought…

Elway knows a good quarterback– Umm, maybe. But probably not. Am I the only one that sees the giant, glaring gap in logic here? I mean I feel like I’m taking crazy pills since this comes up once a day. Elway was a great QB, this has nothing to do with his ability to evaluate the talent of other quarterbacks or players. If that were true than Michael Jordan would be the best GM ever!  When Elway sees a great QB, it’s that guy in the mirror he loves a little too much for comfort. And if you wonder why he wanted Peyton over Tebow you should never own a football team or even play Madden.

They see him at practice so they know– Wow, if this were true then the NFL draft would be an exact science and my Bucs would have never cut/traded/drafted any of the following (note: this is a short list or I’d be sobbing uncontrollably): Steve Young, Doug Williams, Bo Jackson (great player that told Tampa he wouldn’t play for them so he played baseball for the Royals before going to play for Al Davis and the Raiders. Yes, it was that bad AND he was a 7th round pick before he played 2 ways.).

It’s like people have yearly, selective amnesia and forget guys like: Tom Brady (round 6), Alfred Morris (round 6), T.J. Houshmandzadeh( round 7), Marques Colston (round 7), Dwight Clack (ROUND 10), Terrell Davis(round 6), Zach Thomas(round 5), Shannon Sharpe(round 7), Deacon Jones (round 14 and the reason we have the word “sack”), Bart Starr (round 17), and Roger Staubach (round 10).

The real obvious point is, if player evaluation – in high school, college, pros, combine, camp and practice – was an exact science then these guys wouldn’t be playing. It’s much easier to believe that Ryan never played Tebow for his own egocentric reasons, the same motive to bring Tebow to NY in the first place, than it is to believe that Tebow was so horrendous in practice that Sanchez looked good. As verified by an unnamed, undisclosed and fictitious source.

Resigned Jets coach: Having Tebow in New York was ‘a mess’, ‘a distraction’

  • Txgator

    Dead on accurate!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.campanella1 Anthony Campanella

    Most bias Gator writing I’ve seen yet. Pretty strong comparisons to the holocaust with Hoge’s opinion. Seriously? Taking Peyton wasn’t the right move? Peyton who is going to own every major passing record when he is done. Won 4 MVPs, had MVP numbers this year, has won a super bowl, and was a blown coverage away from the AFC title. John Elway may not know it all, but my six year old niece could of made this choice. And yes, they see Tim in practice. If Practice wasn’t important, they wouldn’t have it. Joe, this is just the most bias piece of garbage of seen yet on this site. Tebow to the CFL or H-back. Let it go already.

    • Chris Balestra

      You’re letting your own bias affect your reading comprehension. It’s seemingly clouding your ability to process information you’ve read and analyze it properly. For starters, The author did NOT say taking Peyton was the wrong move. He was stating that anyone that even plays Madden on their gaming console would make that pick. So, lets ignore the rest of your rant up to your second statement. “if practice wasn’t important..” The author did not say practice wasn’t important. He said asserting a correct assessment based on practice performance was not even close to a science; then stated players that ended up performing better than expected, as well as those who performed worse, in retrospect to how coaches thought they would do.
      Tebow to the CFL or H-Back? How about you, back to ESL for a better grasp of the English language. Don’t even bother trying to learn how to discuss sports after that. Clearly it’s out of the question.

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  • blinddonkey

    Haha, no real opinion here either way on tebow. I just want to thank the author for the most accurate, and F$&@ing hilarious perspective on hoge that I’ve ever read.