Metta World Peace Needs More ‘Electricity’ Votes For President

We’re about two years and some change out from the next presidential election, so potential candidates are starting to get batted around. There’s Chris Christie, Rand Paul, Hillary Clinton and Metta World Peace … wait, what? Yes, Mr. United Nations started his campaign on Wednesday, and he needs all the “electricity” votes he can get.

Watermelons for black people; white bread for white people; rice for Asians; and cereal for everyone: World Peace was stumping like crazy on Twitter. Here’s a look at his early platform.

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn I’m bipartisan

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn “Oh Yes We Can”

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

I’m changing my name to Bi Partisan “Bi Partison for three!!

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Cereal for everyone

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Watermelon for black people

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Salad and bread for white people

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Rice for Latino and Asian people

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Fathers for fatherless people

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Chicken for black people also. Fried

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Rainbow ice cream for gay people

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

And don’t worry about, say, a Malice at Buckingham Palace. The artist formerly known as Ron Artest has his emotions in check these days.

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn I’ll have an in house therapist for also. So you can trust in my judgment. I will not get emotional and things

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

Though he sometimes speaks like George W. Bush reincarnate.

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Vote now. I need all the electricity votes — Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn Sorry, I mean , electoral votes — Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

If you weren’t already sold.

pic.twitter.com/fwpwXFy4nn 5 days off per week for lazy people , with pay

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

And if you’re still not there, marinate on this little koan.

Oh yea. One more thing

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

Weird people will be normal and normal people will be weird

— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) April 2, 2014

Wow, Metta, that was just … just …

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